


Your Room or Mine?

by Jupiter_Queen



Category: 6teen
Genre: Complete, Drama, F/M, Post-Series, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 07:53:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14100840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jupiter_Queen/pseuds/Jupiter_Queen
Summary: A trip to New York changes the way the gang views hotel rooms—and each other.





	1. I. "I'm a Wanderess, I'm a One-Night Stand"

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published to fanfiction.net in 2015.
> 
> Warning: Contains profanity, implied sex, (underage) drinking, and drug references.
> 
> I wrote this story back when I was a really big fan of Halsey. got inspired by her Room 93 EP, which she said was the result of the forced intimacy of sharing a hotel room. Naturally, I based this story around that concept and the five songs from that EP, coming up with this pile of romance, angst, and friendship.

A ton of bricks collided with Jen's forehead. It felt that way, at least.

Her eyelids glued shut and her mind groggy, she couldn't be more irritable when she felt a body roll next to her, so close that their skin touched hers.

"Ugh," she muttered, trying to remember what a sentence was. Her words were slow and raspy. "This is my side of the bed. Knock it off."

She heard a one-word apology and, content, tried to fall asleep again.

 _Wait_ , she thought as her eyes opened wide. She winced at all the sunlight spilling into her hotel room. Everything was too bright for her to comprehend. Someone being in her  _bed_  was too much for her to comprehend. Panicking, she thought,  _I don't remember bringing anyone in here with me_.

She rolled over and stole a glance of the stranger in her bed. He was blonde, face-down, and naked.

She gasped as she stared at him and looked at herself, finding her own body naked and sticky.

"Holy shit!" she exclaimed as she jolted out the bed, covering herself with white linen and the last shred of her dignity. She was never the kind of girl who cursed—hell, she was never a one-night stand—but this morning proved there was a first time for everything.

Her sudden movement caused the blonde stranger to pop up and sit upright, revealing his face.

She didn't think she could be more mortified, but, as she yelled, she was proven wrong once again.

"Jude, what the  _hell_ are you doing in my bed?!"

He, adjusting to the world pounding against his head and the sunlight filling the room, said, "Whoa,  _chill_ … Wait, why are you naked, brah?"

"News flash: you're naked,  _too_."

He looked at his body and found her to be right. "Holy shit."

"My reaction exactly." With one hand holding the sheet over her body and the other slapping her forehead, hoping she could slap some sense into herself, she asked, "How did this even happen?"

Jude searched the depths of his hazy mind before offering the best answer he could. "Didn't we all go out to some bar last night?"

She slowly nodded as the memories flooded back to her. It made her headache worse, but she needed to sift through these things.

* * *

"What up, New York?" an excited pop singer shouted into her microphone, looking off the stage and into the crowd. "My name is Ashley Francis and I'll be tonight's entertainment. Shoutout to my band and the Pop Pub for having me here. Now let's hear some kickass music!"

Eager to hear her setlist, the customers howled and hooted, among those customers being the gang.

"I'm so happy you guys were able to get me in here!" Caitlin squealed to her friends. She was so ecstatic that she bounced up and down in her seat, her blonde curls bouncing with her. "Thanks for the ID, Jonesy!"

"Anytime, princess," he said, winking at her.

Nikki snorted. "You're acting like you've never been in a bar before, Barbie."

"I mean I  _have_ , but only because I was legal back in Toronto. New York is  _way_  different, and I'm not just talking about bars." Grateful that Jonesy could get her a fake ID before they left Toronto—having perfected the art of getting one made this time around—Caitlin definitely wouldn't let America's legal age steal her spirits. She was here to  _lift_ her spirits and feel inspired by New York and all it had to offer, not to focus on being twenty while her other friends had already reached twenty-one.

"Speaking of, we should be the ones thanking  _you_  for taking us here," Wyatt said.

She blushed. "Aw, you don't have to thank me. If anything, it was my parents that got us here." Her parents had noticed how much effort all of them were focusing into their college studies and, since the gang just finished their spring semesters and entered the summer, decided to send them on a one-week, all-expenses-paid trip to New York City. And heaven knows they all needed it.

Wyatt just broke up with his on-again, off-again girlfriend Kylie Smylie, just after she performed her Toronto concert dates and ended the North American leg of her tour. Though he didn't want them to part ways again, he knew he couldn't keep up with her when she went on the Eurasian tour dates. She offered to bring him on tour with her this summer, but—with his career budding and hers fully bloomed—he knew it wouldn't last and rejected it.

Nikki didn't know what was on Jonesy's mind for the past week, especially not today when they were settling into their hotel room. He tried to tell her something when they were unpacking, but never mustered the right words. She knew it couldn't be anything too bad, but it left her on her toes. It also left her suspicions high, something she hoped she wouldn't have to deal with during the whole trip.

Despite loving the vibes of the city thus far, Caitlin longed for the comfort of her girlfriend Chantel, someone she couldn't bring on the trip with her because she had family obligations for the week. They had only gotten together recently, almost two months ago after meeting each other through a mutual friend, and they were smitten with each other. Though this was Caitlin's second girlfriend thus far, she had good feelings about her. But, while in New York City, Caitlin could only love her from afar.

Jen and Jude needed the most saving during this trip, being at their lowest, lost in a valley of emotions.

Undoubtedly, all of them needed this escape and were grateful to have finally gotten it.

"Hey, if it wasn't for you being our friend, who knows where we'd be?" Jonesy asked before raising his glass of beer in the air. "To Caitlin."

The rest of the gang followed suit, flattering her by toasting in her name. "To Caitlin!"

From there, they downed their drinks and enjoyed the indie pop filling their ears.

From there, Jen wouldn't stop filling her glass with tequila. She gulped her drinks like a champ, wanting to drown her sorrows and bitterness with liquid therapy.

"Whoa, Jen, slow down," Nikki said with a chuckle. "I don't think it's a race."

She appreciated her warning, but, for once, Jen let her signature self-control stay at home in Canada. She let the liquor sit on her lips and glide down her throat, easing her ailing.

Jude did, too.

It was all he could do when his mind longed for Starr and her touch—her comfort. But Starr was only a memory, a queen of no identity. She switched personas so often that Jude didn't know who he was dating anymore. She fell back into her old ways slowly, then all at once. When things got out of hand, when he didn't know what was real anymore, she realized she needed help finding who she truly was. And she couldn't do that with Jude by her side.

So, as she received the therapy she needed, he healed himself by getting high everyday she wasn't in his life. He stayed stoned for two whole weeks, only coming down to join his friends in the Big Apple. He couldn't bring his weed on the flight with him, so he had to settle for alcohol, a substance he used more infrequently.

While he and Jen grew more and more wasted, Nikki tried to maintain a conversation with Jonesy.

Running a hand through her long black and purple-tipped hair—at least the side that wasn't shaved off—she asked, "So, want to go sightseeing tomorrow? I've always wanted to see New York with you."

"You have?" he asked after taking a sip of his second beer.

"Well, not New York specifically, but I just don't mind traveling around with you." Despite the mixed communication they'd been engaging in lately, she wouldn't let it affect her too much. She wasn't a person who pried. She would just carry on like usual, especially because this week would be their most intimate in months, what with them sharing a hotel room for an entire week instead of visiting each others' dorms every other weekend.

"Well, I've got some good news: I don't mind traveling with you either, so I'm down for cruising around tomorrow," he said with a grin on his face.

As they exchanged lingering kisses, Caitlin suggested, "Ooh, we should totally have breakfast together before we split up tomorrow!"

"Sounds good to me," Wyatt said, with Jonesy and Nikki agreeing.

Jen and Jude agreed as soberly as they could, though it was difficult.

Two hours later, as the singer finished her set and a bigger late-night crowd spilled into the bar, the gang decided to part ways for the night. Wyatt went off to talk to Ashley about her music, Jonesy and Nikki went in search of some fresh air, and Jen and Jude tried to convince Caitlin they were capable of walking back to their hotel together, with it being only two blocks away. Though skeptical, she left them to their own devices.

While they let the warm summer air guide them back to Wilson Hotel, stumbling and giggling along the way, Jen felt comfortably numb. Numb enough to leave her previous relationship behind. Numb enough not to cry over her ex's infidelity. She had devoted a year and a half to a guy named Logan, the star of her university's soccer team—only for her relationship to crash and burn when she found out he had been cheating on her… with her  _roommate_. The two people she trusted the most had betrayed her in the worst way, and she vowed to keep them far away from her.

Once she was through with him, she locked up her heart and threw away the key, condemning love and all it entailed. He had only brought her pain and she became a waterfall of tears every time she thought about him.

But not tonight.

As she wandered these New York streets with Jude, hand-in-hand, she felt  _happy_ , something she hadn't felt in a long time. She and Jude fumbled their way into the hotel and onto the fifth floor, where they belonged.

They made their way down the hallway, stealing gazes and exchanging smirks along the way.

As soon as they made it to Jen's suite, Room 493, she didn't want to part ways with him. Not when they were beginning to have fun, the most fun both of them have had in ages.

"Jude," she whispered, gazing into his eyes before she let her impulses control her. She stole a sloppy kiss from him.

He embraced her as he kissed her back.

They kissed again and again and again, each time more deeply and passionately.

As his lips traveled down her neck, she moaned louder than she intended—her self-control was long-gone by now—and encouraged his behavior. She giggled as he gently sucked on her skin, surely giving her a hickey.

His lips met hers once more, but he couldn't help it. He was held captive in her kiss.

Though she didn't mind being loved like this, she didn't want to continue in the hallway for everyone to see. Her sobriety, or lack thereof, told her that much.

"Jude, Ireallywantyourightnow," she slurred in between deep breaths and passionate kisses.

"Same," was all he could muster. His one-track mind wanted her, too.

Her hand fumbled through her pockets in search of her room key. Once she grabbed it and managed to slide it in the door, she quickly pulled him into her room, becoming tangled in him.

She pushed him onto the bed and straddled him, feeling so alive and liberated as she grinded on him. Living for the moment, he clawed their clothes off, begging for her skin to press against his. He needed one night to escape from everything that brought him down, and so did she.

As the night went on, she wasn't a waterfall of tears anymore. She was the force of a fucking hurricane.

* * *

"Whoa," Jude said as both he and Jen recalled the night's activities. "Y'know, now that I think about it, you were really great last night."

Her skin flushed and grew hot, but part of that could have been due to her hangover. All the numbness she felt last night surely went away, replaced by shame and pain. She was tempted to say that he was great too, but, with her self-control barely in her grip, decided against it.

"Jude, friends aren't supposed to compliment each other on a one-night stand. We're not  _supposed_  to have one-night stands!"

Before Jude could reply, they heard three knocks on Jen's door.

"Hey, Jen, are you still gonna join us for breakfast?" Caitlin asked. "Jonesy, Nikki, and I are heading downstairs. Wyatt said he'd be down in ten minutes, though."

"Yeah, I'll meet you down in a few. See you there!" Jen replied in her most composed voice, while mindlessly rubbing the hickey Jude left on her neck. She quickly picked up Jude's scattered clothing and threw it at him. "You need to put your clothes back on.  _Please_ pretend like nothing happened when we go downstairs."

While trying to comprehend everything from the past twenty-four hours, he complied. "Okay."


	2. II. "What Happened to the Soul That You Used to Be?"

Jen's eyes darted around the table every two seconds, wondering if the gang could see the words  _I slept with Jude_  written on her forehead. She couldn't believe that the one night she lost control and gave into her impulses ended up in a one-night stand—with him of all people. And, from what she recalled in the depths of her groggy mind, it was great sex, better than any night she spent with Logan. Great sex with her best friend  _Jude Lizowski_.

Every time she reviewed the facts, her headache pounded harder. Her better judgement was punishing her for being so stupid.

She wanted to ask herself what she was thinking the previous night, but, apparently, it was nothing at all.

"So, Jude, where were you last night?" Wyatt asked after swallowing a forkful of eggs. "I tried calling you but I couldn't get in touch."

Jen's eyes widened. Now that he mentioned it, she recalled hearing a phone ring over and over again, but the bed's squeaking and his groans had been far more enticing than answering a phone call; neither of them stopped for it, only paying attention to the havoc they had wreaked together. On top of that, Jude and Wyatt were supposed to share a room during the trip.

 _Oh my god, everything just got worse,_  she thought.  _He's onto us_.

Jude, after calmly taking a sip of his orange juice, filled his mouth with white lies. He said, "Sorry, bro. I got really wasted last night, so Jen let me pass out in her room," telling the most innocent version of the truth.

He left out the parts where they made out and practically groped each other against her door before she snatched him into her room, never once letting go of him. Recalling this made Jen blush. She was grateful Jonesy spoke so no one could draw attention to her rosy cheeks.

"Because nothing says 'true friends' like, 'I'm drunk and I need somewhere to crash for the night,'" Jonesy joked, coaxing a chuckle out of Nikki.

"Yeah, 'true friends,'" Jen mumbled before smiling sheepishly.

While taking a bite of some bacon, Nikki eyed Jen carefully. Something didn't sit right with her. She wasn't one to pry, yes, but she knew when Jen was bothered by something and she would get to the bottom of it. She didn't like seeing Jen lost and nervous; it wasn't typical of her to be this way.

Once they all finished their breakfast-with Jonesy letting out a burp and declaring how he was "stuffed," only for Nikki to slap him on the arm and tell him to learn some manners—they hurried to the elevators, wanting to go back to their rooms before venturing into the jungle that was New York City.

With her five friends crowding around her on the way up, Jen sweat bullets, nervous that everyone knew everything about last night and was ready to call her out about it.

Once they reached the fourth floor, Caitlin glanced at Nikki before saying, "Oh crap, I think I left my phone downstairs!"

"Want us to stay and help you look for it?" Wyatt asked.

"You don't have to. I was hoping Jen and Nikki could help me find it. You guys can go off and do your 'guy stuff.'"

"Oh, okay." Before getting off the elevator he said, "See you three later."

They waved goodbye to the boys before Caitlin pushed the button for the first floor, convincing Jen that they were headed back to the place where they ate breakfast.

Jen sighed in relief before Nikki slammed a button which stopped the elevator.

"Jude did more than just pass out in your room, didn't he?" Nikki was never one to dance around an issue.

"What makes you think that?" Jen asked, hoping to distract her and Caitlin.

"You and Jude have been acting super weird all morning. Then again, you two were weird when I let you guys leave the bar last night." Caitlin gasped as the puzzle pieces formed the bigger picture. "OMG, you didn't?!"

Nikki and Caitlin's knowing eyes burned through Jen and became too hot to handle, so she burst under pressure. "Okay, I had sex with Jude last night!" she exclaimed, the guilt overwhelming her. "And not just any kind of sex—it was hot, drunk sex—and I loved it and, holy crap, I want to die."

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" Caitlin squealed. "No way!"

"I knew it," Nikki said as she crossed her arms. "Why didn't you want us to know?"

"Because," she began, "I didn't want you guys to judge me. I'm always in other people's business and calling people out and now I feel like one big hypocrite. Plus, friends aren't supposed to sleep around with friends. I'm not comfortable with the idea of being more than friends with someone like you are, Nikki. You and Jonesy worked out perfectly—and that's great—but Jude and I aren't the same. And after last night, I don't think we'll  _ever_  be the same. What do I do?"

"First of all, Jonesy and I are complete opposites, if you haven't noticed; we've definitely had our share of bumps and bruises and we had to figure out how to make our relationship work again once I moved back from Iqaluit, so we're not perfect. Second, talk to Jude; be honest."

"What do I even say to him?"

"Tell him what's on your mind."

Caitlin added, " _And_  you need to figure out how to move on from this. The sooner you two define the relationship, the better."

* * *

"Dudes, I did something last night and I feel really bad about it," Jude spilled as soon as the guys entered Wyatt's (and technically his) room.

"What happened?" Wyatt asked.

He paused, his mind briefly recalling last night when Jen was underneath him, when she made him feel mellow and ecstatic. "I kinda-sorta slept with Jen."

"No way," Wyatt said, his eyes wide.

"Nice!" Jonesy shouted. "Was it good?"

"Jonesy, that's your step-sister," Wyatt clarified.

He rolled his eyes. "Okay, but sex is sex regardless, Wyatt. And we're talking about  _Jude_ of all people here. So, how was it?"

"I was pretty drunk, but from what I can remember, it was pretty damn good."

"That's my boy," Jonesy exclaimed like a proud father before calming down. "Wait, if was as good as you said it was, then why do you feel bad about it?"

"Because she's super embarrassed that it happened and I don't know how to approach her about it."

"I think you and Jen need to figure out where to go from here, especially after doing something as big as sleeping together," Wyatt suggested.

Jude turned to Jonesy for any similar advice.

"I agree with Wyatt, dude. Unless you wanna hook up with her again, you've gotta DTR."

"DTR?" Jude asked, his expression bewildered.

"Define the relationship."

"Ohhhh, okay."

"Speaking of DTR, I need to tell you guys something, but you've got to swear it won't leave this room." Once he had their word, Jonesy asked, "You guys know how much I love Nikki and that I'd do anything for her, right?"

They nodded.

"Well lately, she's been driving me crazy, in a really good way, and I feel something real with her—so real that I wanna marry her."

Jude smiled bright. At least one of his friends found both luck and love with a girl. (Then again, Caitlin did, too.) "Awesome!"

"Jonesy, that's great!" Wyatt said.

"Yeah, I know." But his own grin faded into a frown. "The only problem is that I don't really know how she feels about marriage, especially because her parents got divorced last year, remember?"

 _He_  surely remembered. He remembered how upset she had been for not seeing it coming; she was furious that she didn't realize she was the glue which kept them together, that leaving Nunavut for college in Toronto further pulled them apart. Though he tried to tell her that not everybody recognized the signs, that the ghost of a relationship wasn't always easy to see, she insisted that she was dumb for being so blind. He had never seen her inflict so much self-loathing upon herself. Of course, he helped her through the pain, knowing exactly what it felt like for parents to fall out of love, and he wanted to be the reason for her to stay  _in_  love. Despite his many faults, he wanted to be the best boyfriend he could to give her a reason that love existed.

"If she's really ready and loves you, she'll wanna marry you. And if she doesn't, then you'll just have to wait for her," Jude said.

Wyatt interjected, "But if you don't say anything, you'll never know how she feels and everything will just be a mystery."

"You're right," Jonesy conceded, thinking about every possible way he could ask for her to be his wife, hoping it would take only one to convince her.

* * *

When the night fell, Jen heard a knock on her door and her throat constricted. The time had come to clear the air of ghosts and hurricanes.

"Coming," she said as she walked towards the door. She looked out the peephole, took the chain off, and pushed the handle down, letting Jude inside Room 493 for the second time. (This time, however, she could fully comprehend her actions.)

After she ushered him to her bed, where they both sat on the edge instead of being tangled in its sheets together, there was a lull in the air.

"I'm not going to lie, Jude. Last night was fun, and I needed that."

"Wait, what?" he asked. That was the last thing he expected to hear from her.

"I know I was being confusing this morning— _everything_  was confusing this morning—but now that I've had the chance to think about things, I think we  _both_  needed that… that release."

All he could say was, "Maybe."

"Just think about it: I broke up with my boyfriend, you broke up with Starr, we were both sad and drunk, and we needed something to make us happy."

"That's true."

"So, what's on your mind?" she asked, seeings as she did all the talking thus far.

"Other than the fact that I thought last night was really fun, too?"

She blushed.

"Even though I can't remember much, I felt this wicked chemistry between us." He looked her dead in the eyes—her sad, lonely eyes. "Don't tell me you didn't feel it, brah."

"No, I felt it, too." Comforted by his gaze, she couldn't break away and lie, not that she wanted to, either. This was their time to be honest and let their secrets slip away. She looked at his lips, biting her own in the process. Before she knew it, she had pulled him into a kiss, this one being completely sober and her own choice. His lips were warm, inviting, and tender. Once she broke away from him, her mind made a wild suggestion and she wondered if the liquor was still talking. Even wilder, she blurted her idea to him. "What if we were each other's rebounds for the week? I know it sounds crazy, but I feel less sad with you and I don't  _want_ to be sad, not while we're here in New York."

He smiled before planting another kiss on her lips. "You know I love doing crazy shit, Jen."

"Of course." She giggled. "You've gone naked skydiving, gotten a tattoo on your butt"—a tattoo she recalled seeing last night—"gone skinny-dipping in a fish tank, and… a lot of other stuff that involved being naked now that I think about it."

"I'm pretty secure with my body, if you ask me," he said with a chuckle.

After another moment of exchanging kisses and grins, she asked, "So, it's official?"

"Us hooking up for the week?"

"Mmhmm."

"Yeah, I'm cool with it."

She caressed his cheek. "Just promise that when we get back to Toronto, we'll be just friends."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

She took off her T-shirt and allowed his eyes to ghost over her body, easing into their newfound friends-with-benefits status. As he embraced her, she said, "Good, because I need you tonight."


	3. III. "Oh, You Make Me Feel So Weak"

Nikki rolled off Jonesy and onto her side of their bed, panting as she looked him in the eyes. Her grandmother always regarded eyes as the "windows to the soul," reciting the old saying every chance she'd gotten. Though Nikki couldn't tell what thoughts were going through the mind behind those brown eyes, she adored them regardless.

She grinned at him and he did so in return, making her cheeks flush.

They had been together for six years now—despite taking a brief break when she lived in Iqaluit—yet his boyish grin still made her melt. He was the only guy who could reduce her to a puddle of warm, romantic feelings. He was the only one who could make her feel vulnerable (but never weak).

_Ugh, screw him for making me feel like this_ , she thought. She was tempted to snort.  _Oops, too late_.

He stole several tender kisses from her smiling lips.

"Thanks for going sightseeing with me earlier," she said as she ran her fingers through his blue-black hair. "I had a lot of fun with you."

"I did, too." He purred as she messed with his hair. "You know, I just realized that it doesn't matter where we are together, because we always make things fun."

She laughed. "After all these years, you  _just_  realized that?"

"I mean, I've always known it, but it's just been low-key." He stole another kiss from her, this one being deep and long. "Maybe we can have some more fun in this room."

Chuckling, she said, "Jonesy, didn't we already have enough 'fun' for one night?"

He shook his head. "It's still not enough for me, babe."

She rolled her eyes.

"Hey, I can't help that I want you so much."

"Mmm, I'm flattered. At least I know your interest in me has never faded."

"Not once, Nik. Not once." He caressed her cheek. "Speaking of you… me…  _us_ …"

"Spit it out, Jonesy." One side effect of her never dancing around issues was that she had no patience for those who did. "What is it?"

"How do you feel about our relationship so far?" He didn't want to directly ask her about marriage just yet. He wasn't ready to ask her just yet, but, bearing Wyatt and Jude's advice in mind, it was a start. This way, the conversation would appear as innocent pillow talk, not a prelude to marriage.

"Well, despite you screwing up from time-to-time and the unique ways we seem to bicker—not to mention your bad taco breath—"

"Hey!" he interjected.

"—Kidding… kind of. But, like I was saying before, being with you has been the best six years of my life. You make me feel amazing."

"And you make me feel on top of the world, babe." He gazed at her. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

As their lips met, she climbed on top of him, straddling him as they kissed. He embraced her, full of nothing but pure joy after hearing her response to his question. Things were shining in his favor. Maybe, just  _maybe_ , If things continued to shine this way in the next few days, they would be engaged.

"Remember when you said you wanted more of me?" she asked, kissing his neck after she spoke.

"Yeah," he said with a smirk on his face.

"The feeling's mutual."

* * *

The feeling was quite mutual for Jen and Jude, too.

Two days had passed since they declared themselves friends with benefits, and she already felt a difference in her life. She felt better each time Jude was in her bed. Something about playing the dual role of best friends by day and lovers by night was riveting; it made her cheeks flush when the gang hit the city during the day, because they were something their friends couldn't see.

Sometimes, however, when they laid in her bed and she felt a connection blossoming between them, she had to remind herself to cut any budding feelings for him. She had to remind herself that he wasn't a boyfriend. He wasn't Corey, Charlie, Travis, or Logan. He was Jude Lizowski, her best friend. The closest he had ever been to being her boyfriend at sixteen was when he was her fake date to a Penalty Box event. The closest he was to being her boyfriend right now was through fill-the-void-in-their-hearts sex.

They were adults now. They defined their relationship, their boundaries, and their inevitable return to being just friends as soon as they set foot inside LaGuardia Airport. She promised herself she would enjoy these no-strings-attached nights with him. She promised herself she wouldn't let him complete her, and she would hold herself to it.

She would still be a hurricane at night and the calm before the storm by day.

And now, as she held him captive in her kiss, about to be the storm she wanted to be, she felt powerful. Knowing how to turn him on, knowing she had the power to make him feel good made Jen unstoppable. She was a control freak by nature, always wanting to be the one in control of everything, and being with Jude gave her the reigns on their relationship.

She especially felt in control when he groaned her name and looked at her like she was the only girl in the world. But it also made her feel vulnerable and weak; she never had a guy look at her like he did, like she was made of glass. And, for the week, he would be the only guy to look at her like that.  _Maybe the only one ever_ , she figured.

But she had no time to focus on that.

"So," he asked as he held her in his arms, "are you gonna head to the club with us tomorrow night?"

Jen almost forgot about their plans until he mentioned it.

One of Caitlin's cousins who lived in the city told her all about a club called the New Americana and how it was a highlight of New York City nightlife. The music was great, the liquor was endless, and the people were vibrant—all of which were concepts which sold Caitlin. And, when she pitched it with an overzealous smile on her face, she sold the gang on it, too.

"Yeah, even though clubs aren't exactly my thing." She frowned. She'd only been to two clubs in her life: the one the group snuck in when they were teenagers and another one for Jonesy's eighteenth birthday. She didn't have the best experiences in them, either, considering she had a wardrobe malfunction in one and multiple drinks spilled on her in the other. However, she wanted to give New Americana a try, hoping she would have better luck in clubs from this point on. Maybe New York's clubs had something Toronto's didn't have.

"If ya ever feel down while we're there tomorrow, you can always talk to me. I'm always here for ya, babe."

She internally squealed at being his babe before telling herself to calm the hell down. Appearing as calm as possible—like she didn't just freak out moments ago—she said, "Thanks, Jude. You know, you're the best."

"Aww, you're the sweetest."

She grinned, falling asleep in his arms with a dreamy look on her face minutes later.

* * *

After taking a taxi to the heart of the Big Apple, the gang stumbled inside New Americana, which was more like a neon city than a nightclub. Its ceilings soared high with neon-lit borders framing it, its first floor was dominated by a packed dance floor and a bar, and its second floor was adorned with couches and other lounge areas.

As soon as the group marveled at it, they knew this would be the highlight of their trip. Caitlin was especially amazed because every detail her cousin told her about exceeded what she pictured in her head.

"Whoa, this place is fucking  _wild_ ," Jonesy said as his eyes ghosted over everything.

"I know right? It's  _magical_ ," Caitlin said. While she looked around, she caught sight of the DJ, a girl whose dark skin, spiky pixie cut, and brown eyes reminded her of her girlfriend Chantel, who was also a part-time DJ. She made a mental note to call her later and tell her all about tonight. "So, what do you think, Jen?"

"I think this place is really nice." She and clubs didn't get along too well, but she had a good feeling about tonight. Tonight was going to be a great night.

As the DJ faded one song into another, Caitlin jumped in joy. "Oh my God, she's playing Marina and Diamonds! Jen, you have  _got_  to dance to this with me!"

Without much of a choice, she was swept away from the gang and to the dancefloor with Caitlin.

Seeing her head off with Jen led the gang to find their own niches within the club. Wyatt headed to the second-floor lounge area, seeking some comfort and a more relaxed environment. Jonesy walked hand-in-hand with Nikki to the dancefloor, hoping to coerce her into dancing with him.

By the time they all found where they wanted to be, Jude was left behind with no direction. He wasn't sure if he felt like dancing tonight, he wasn't sure if he wanted a drink—maybe not after what happened Monday night—and he certainly wasn't sure of anything. But, being the chill guy he was, he would go with the flow.

Something told him to go to the second floor and hang out with Wyatt, but, before he could even go up there, a girl stood in his path.

"Hi, I don't mean to bother you, but I really need somebody's help," the girl said, her grey eyes filled with urgency.

"What's wrong, brah?"

"I lost my freaking keys. I was partying with my friends one second and the next they were gone!"

"Well, have no fear: Jude's here… y'know, to help."

"Thank you so much. I'm Emily, by the way."

"Nice to meet ya, Emily. I'm Jude... wait, I just told you that," he said with a chuckle.

She laughed herself. "That's fine."

"So, where did you last have your keys?"

"On the rooftop, I think," she said. "I hope you don't mind going there with me."

"Nah, it's cool," he replied.

On their way up the flights of stairs to get to the rooftop, she asked, "So, which part of New York are you from?"

"Toronto."

Smiling, she said, "Oh, I didn't realize you weren't from around here. What's it like in Toronto? Ever gotten a chance to meet Drake or The Weeknd?"

"Toronto's pretty dope. It's like any other big city, though." He scratched his head. "Y'know, I knew a guy named Drake who used to hang at a skate park I go to."

"You're a skater?"

"Yep. Ever since I was three." He attempted to count on his two hands how many years it had been, but instead said, "It's been, like, a bunch of years now."

"I wouldn't mind hearing about it," she said as the two of them roamed the balcony, in search of her missing keys.

After their conversation ended and their search on the rooftop ended unsuccessfully, Jude asked, "Did you go anywhere else after leaving here?"

"I remember going to the first-floor bar for a drink," she said.

He took her by her hand and said, "C'mon," as he led her down there.

They both bobbed and weaved around people while looking at the ground, the bar itself, and every nook and cranny around it.

"Are these it?" he asked as picked up a shiny key ring with three keys dangling on it.

"OMG, they are!" she exclaimed. Once they were back in her possession, she said, "I thought I lost them! Thank you so much!"

"No problem, brah."

Before he could walk off, she said, "Don't leave just yet. There's got to be a way I can repay you."

"I don't need anything, Em. Doing a good deed for a pretty girl is enough for me."

"You're so sweet, Jude." She gave him a warm grin as her cheeks turned red, even though that wasn't something that could be easily seen. Her eyes grew half-lidded as she gazed at him. "Just let me make it up to you."

"How?"

She leaned in. "Like this."

* * *

_So much for a great night_ , Jen thought as she sat in the second-floor lounge. (She originally sat by the bar, only being there for comfort, however. She swore she wouldn't even  _sip_ alcohol for the rest of her life.)

Sure, she and Caitlin danced to a few songs and checked out cute New York guys together—because Caitlin was "bisexual, not dead"—but as soon as her girlfriend called, she moved closer to the entrance (but not outside in fear of having to flash her fake ID again and get caught this time) in order to properly hear her.

Of course this left Jen alone, something she was used to. She was Miss Responsible—the one who was trusted to never do anything stupid, to always be logical, to place her sensibilities and reasonable doubts ahead of a little fun, which frequently made her an outsider. At least before this trip, she was Miss Responsible.

If she was being honest with herself, she wanted to find Jude and leave this club hand-in-hand. She wanted to have fun with him at the hotel just like they'd been having since they arrived in New York. She wanted  _him_ , maybe in more regards than they had agreed upon.

She walked downstairs with her heart set on Jude, especially because he said she could always find him when she's down. She walked around the dancefloor and, not spotting him there, walked towards the bar, hoping to find him there.

She walked past a kissing couple, consisting of some black-haired girl and a blonde boy with a beanie, before doubling back.

_Please don't be him. Please don't be him_ , she pleaded to herself, hoping it would make a difference.

"Jude?" she shouted towards the couple, hoping her eyes were deceiving her. Hoping that it wasn't him like her brain made it out to be.

When Jude revealed himself and parted from the girl, he said, "Jen, wait—"

Her eyes welled with tears, her vision growing blurry when she looked at him and the girl he had kissed. After one second of not being able to bear this newfound pain in her heart, she ran away. She was the farthest thing from a hurricane as she ran—she was a waterfall of tears again, worse than the one Logan had turned her into.

She promised herself she wouldn't catch feelings for him, not tonight, not ever. She promised herself they would be just friends after this trip. Most of all, she promised herself she wouldn't let Jude complete her. She promised herself a lot of things, but all of her promises broke when she saw his lips touch that girl's.

Despite her tears, she was sure she passed Caitlin on the way out the club, but she didn't have the energy to tell her why she was so devastated, nor how Jude made her feel so weak.

* * *

Nikki and Jonesy had been dancing and exchanging electric smiles since their arrival at the club. Though she had great rhythm, having won that dance contest to be in a DawgToy video when she was sixteen, dancing wasn't exactly her thing, but Jonesy had convinced her to stay on the dancefloor with him, persuasion being  _his_  thing. Luckily for him, she didn't regret a second of it. However, dancing nonstop grew tiring and, after a while, she just wanted to sit down, enjoy some music, and talk to him.

Jonesy took her by the hand, wanting to go upstairs to talk to her, too, only for a different reason. Tonight was the night, he had decided. The aura in the air was right, she was in the perfect mood, and he felt that now was as good a time as ever to change their relationship.

But before they could even make it up the steps, Caitlin ran towards them like a madwoman.

"Nikki, you've  _got_  to help me find Jen! One second, I'm on the phone with Chantel by the door, and the next second, she's speeding past me in  _tears_!"

"Any clues as to why she's upset?" Nikki asked.

"I have no idea. We've  _got_  to help her."

"Okay, calm down, Barbie. I'll help you find her. Just stop panicking."

That was all Caitlin needed to hear. She grabbed Nikki by the wrist, saying, "Come on!"

Before they could leave, however, Jonesy had to resort to a backup plan, seeing as his original plan wouldn't work out. "Nik, before you go, do you wanna go out to dinner with me tomorrow night?"

Without even questioning where such a question came from, especially at a time like this, she said, "Sure," before she and Caitlin took off, leaving a gust of cool air in their wake.

* * *

Caitlin and Nikki ran onto the sidewalk and the June air hit them as they looked in every direction in search of Jen, but they couldn't find her at a glance.

"Maybe she already left," Nikki said, being a realist.

Caitlin, being a dreamer, said, "No, she's got to be around here  _somewhere_." she knew that hailing a taxi in New York was tricky, despite them being everywhere. She ran close to the street and scanned every taxi she saw, since that was the only way Jen could get back to the hotel. Looking on the other side of the block, she saw a girl with short auburn hair hop into a cab and immediately recognized her as Jen.

"Nikki, I see her! I see her!"

With Caitlin guiding her, Nikki ran in the direction of Jen's taxi, but to no avail. The taxi already sped off with Jen in tow.

As Nikki cursed and Caitlin's heart sunk, Jen's mascara trailed down her cheeks while she cried in her lonely backseat, wanting to pretend tonight never happened, wanting the world to go away.


	4. IV. "I Didn't Mean to Fall in Love Tonight"

After taking a taxi back to the hotel, Jen isolated herself inside Room 493, the farthest place from home right now, the only place she could call home until her return to Canada. Even though it had been a half-hour since she escaped the club, everything about the room felt vast, cold, and empty. She stared at her bed with blurry vision, such bittersweet memories of fantastic nights with Jude trapped in those sheets.

All she could see was the ghost of them, if there ever truly was a  _them_.

 _I'm such an idiot_ , she told herself, wondering how she convinced herself that they could be together with no strings attached in the first place. Who was she fooling? She didn't want to believe that this would end badly, so she had ignored her intuition, and everything exploded in her face.

She wasn't even sure if she could mend her relationship with Jude; she didn't know what was left to salvage. At least when she ended things with Logan after finding him with that girl, she knew where they stood—she knew they were completely and utterly over. With Jude, however, everything was left open-ended. So many questions haunted the air, questions she wasn't sure if she could answer tonight or days from now or even  _weeks_ from now.

At least when she and Logan were no longer an item, her heart broke into two even pieces. Now her heart was broken everywhere—because there was more at stake with Jude. She gambled more by hooking up with him and paid the consequences.

The more she let these thoughts haunt her brain, the more trapped she felt. She felt trapped in this room, this hotel, this  _city_. Though she came here with the gang to experience something new, it didn't feel like home to her when she arrived and it didn't feel like home now more than ever.

It all felt cold and unforgiving, which led her to a conclusion.

By the end of tonight, she had one question answered:  _Where do I go from here?_

* * *

Despite the night being the longest one of her life, Jen managed to fall asleep, but she didn't dream vividly like she normally did. Her mind was in a blank, deep sleep after the decision she had ultimately made.

That morning, however, she woke up to thunderous knocks on her door, disturbing her from her rest.

"Ugh," she moaned. "Go away."

The knocks persisted, drawing Jen out of bed and to the door. She didn't open it, though. She merely stood beside it with her arms folded over her chest.

"Jen? It's me and Nikki," she heard Caitlin say. "We just want to talk to you."

"Well, I've got nothing to say."

"Come on, Jen, open the damn door," Nikki said.

She took a bated breath before undoing the locks on her door, opening it wide.

"Oh my gosh, you look a mess," Caitlin noted, staring at Jen's smeared makeup, tousled bob, and disheveled outfit from the night before.

"Thanks," she deadpanned as her best friends stepped inside her room.

The girls sat on the bed alongside Jen, Caitlin being the first to break the longstanding silence. She touched Jen's palm and said, "We just want to know if you're okay."

"I'm fine," she lied.

"No, you're not," Nikki said. Knowing Jen since kindergarten, she knew when Jen was high and when Jen was low, and it was likely apparent to  _strangers_  that this was the lowest of Jen's lows, even if she wasn't sure of what was going on with Jen. "And, just so you know, we're taking you out for breakfast and, per Caitlin's suggestion, some 'much-needed retail therapy.'"

Her lips twitched before frowning. "Thanks, but no thanks. I just want to sleep all day."

"What kind of friends would we be if we let you stay here by yourself all day? You'll sulk yourself into a depression!" Caitlin said, throwing her arms in the air.

"Too late—already have," Jen said, her voice distant and detached.

Nikki crossed her arms and stared at Jen. "We're not leaving until you agree to go with us."

Caitlin, following Nikki's lead, said, "Yeah. We'll be right here, even if it takes all day."

After moments of them sitting and staring at her, Jen melted her icy barriers. Her voice warmer, she said, "You guys."

"Hmm, I heard a  _you guys_ , but not a definite  _yes_ ," Nikki said with a smirk on her face.

"Yes, yes, I'll go with you guys. Just let me take a shower first," Jen said, finally giving in and getting up.

* * *

After letting Jen bathe and put on some fresh clothes, the girls treated her to breakfast at some restaurant near the shopping district Caitlin wanted to visit.

While shopping, Caitlin bought herself and her girlfriend a few items and Jen, despite not being in a shopping mood, decided to purchase some souvenirs for Courtney, little Emma (who had just turned five years old), and her mother. Nikki, while not being in a shopping mood at any time  _ever_ , took a page out of Jen's book and decided to buy something for her mother, just to let her know she'd been thinking about her; she had grown closer to her mother since her parents' divorce, closer than they had ever been in her teenage years, and didn't mind showing her mom that she cared anymore.

Once they entered a clothing store, a store which Jen and Nikki begged to be their last, Caitlin and Nikki looked at each other, wondering if it was time to ask Jen the question of the century.

As Jen perused some dresses, they agreed that the time was now.

"Jen," Caitlin said, "you know we love you, right?"

"Yeah…" her voice trailed off as she eyed them suspiciously.

"And you know we only pry  _because_  we love you, right?"

"You want to know what happened last night, don't you?" Jen asked.

"Was it that obvious?" Nikki snorted before her expression grew solemn. "But seriously, Jen, you know you can tell us anything."

"I know." She sighed, summoning the right words to say without wanting to cry. "On Tuesday night, Jude and I talked things over and—because we were both caught up in what happened—we decided to have a no-strings-attached relationship for the rest of the trip. Then last night at the club, I wanted to find him and leave with him, but…" She choked up. "I found him kissing some girl."

"Oh, Jen," Caitlin said, all the sympathy in the world in her voice.

"So you ran away because you fell for him," Nikki said, quickly comprehending the situation at hand.

She nodded. "God, I feel so stupid."

"Don't," Caitlin said. "We all make mistakes."

"Yeah, but I've never made one as big as this."

"So what are you gonna do about it?" Nikki asked.

She hesitated, her breath bated again. "I'm gonna leave New York tonight."

Nikki gave her a blank stare. "I hope you just said, 'I'm gonna eat pulled pork tonight.'"

"I know it sounds crazy, but I can't be here any longer."

"But why tonight? Why can't you just leave with us tomorrow night like we planned?" Caitlin asked, her eyes pleading for an answer.

"Because I have to get out of here. After what happened at the club, this city's been bringing me down."

"This city or Jude?" Nikki asked.

Jen broke eye contact and stared at the tile beneath her feet, knowing that it was about him.  _Everything_  this week was about him. He and New York were synonymous. "He and I will never be the same, and it'll be less worse for me if I think about that in Toronto. I need to figure myself out."

"Jen, you  _can't_  go. We'll all miss you."

"I'll only be gone a day before everyone." She barely met their concerned gazes. "Besides, I already bought my ticket last night."

Caitlin frowned, looking like she wanted to cry. "I don't want you to leave, but I don't want you to stay here and be miserable either if leaving is what your heart's set on."

"Agreed," Nikki said. "If that's what you want to do, then we'll support you 100%."

Tears welling in Jen's eyes again, she sent them a bittersweet smile. "Thanks, guys."

"Anytime," Nikki said.

The three of them met in a group hug, embracing each other, only letting go when they started attracting weird stares from other customers.

"I love you two so much," Jen said, letting the contents of her heart spill out, along with a few tears.

"And we love you too, Jen," Caitlin said, getting choked up.

Nikki rolled her eyes playfully. "You two are so melodramatic." However, she flashed Jen a bittersweet smile, her tone the same as her smile when she said, "You better call me as soon as you land."

* * *

When the night fell, Jen had one of her two bags packed..

She sat on her second suitcase, pleading for it to zip and close. "I didn't"—grunt—"bring nearly as much stuff"—grunt—"as Caitlin did." She continued to struggle with her bag until the zipper gloriously did its job. She wiped her brow, despite no sweat being there. "Finally."

Just as she began rolling her last bag to the door, she heard several knocks on it.

For a moment, she wondered who it could be, before remembering Caitlin and Nikki.

 _Maybe they wanted to say goodbye_ …  _Wait, Nikki's on her date with Jonesy_ , she thought, recalling Nikki mentioning it earlier.  _It's probably just Caitlin_.

"Can you open up, Jen?" the outsider asked. "It's me."

Her heart froze.

* * *

Jonesy and Nikki walked the New York streets proud and tall (or, at least, as tall as she could be) together after exiting Badlands, the restaurant Jonesy took her to.

As they walked hand-in-hand, with Jonesy having a broad grin on his face, he embraced the night and whatever it would bring him. More importantly, he embraced her, who looked wickedly stunning in a black dress which clung to her in all the right places.

 _All this time and she still looks like this_ , he said to himself.  _Amazing_.

But her focus wasn't on him per se. Her eyes were glued to the way the city was illuminated and enormous at night. Even though she didn't get entranced often, despite her love of traveling, she was entranced by this city. She loved the way the skyscrapers stood in contrast to the sky, the way the lights of the buildings contrasted the black of the night, the way life flowed through the sidewalks and streets.

"Isn't this place amazing, Jonesy?" she asked.

He grinned at her, the way she looked like a kid in a candy shop. "Yeah, but I can think of something that's more amazing."

She looked at him in disbelief as they crossed a street. "Like what?"

"Like your eyes."

She rolled said eyes. "Cheesy much?"

His grin never faded. "I know, I know, but it's how I feel."

She sent him a straight face until she snorted and smirked. "Lucky for you, I  _do_  like my cheese with a side of sincere."

"Sincere's all I am, baby," he said.

She laughed.

Slowly but surely—since Nikki wanted to embrace as much of New York as she could—they found their way back to the hotel and made their way to Room 495, ready to enjoy the solace and intimacy it provided.

As soon as Jonesy locked the door, he chased after Nikki. Upon catching her, he embraced her—clutched her—and asked her the question of the evening. (No, not  _that_  question.)

"So, how does you getting undressed and hopping in the bathtub with me sound?" he asked before leaning over and pressing a kiss against her neck.

Chuckling, she said, "It depends: Will there be any bubbles involved?"

"For you, it'll involve all the bubbles in the world, babe."

She moaned as he gently sucked the skin on her neck. "Then it sounds amazing."

He parted from her and said, "I'll go get that ready, then. When I come back, I want you naked, preferably naked on me." He gave her a mischievous look.

"And I want us to be covered in bubbles. Now  _go_ ," she joked.

He purred at her before making his way into the bathroom, drawing the bath like she commanded him to do. He made sure to add extra bubbles, per her request.

He took off his suit article by article, glad to be getting rid of all that clothing and living free in his own skin.

Before Jonesy could come back to get Nikki (and make sure she "lost" all her clothes), she peeped her head around the doorframe and asked, "Hey, Casanova, can I come in yet?"

"You know it. I was just about to get you."

Once she strolled inside the bathroom, her marveled at her even more than he did when she wore her figure-hugging dress. Every time he looked at her, his breath was taken away. Every time he touched her, he never wanted to let go. Every time he thought about her, he was grateful to have her.

And now, at this time, he realized that everything was finally right. He wanted her to be his, forever and always, and this was the chance to make that happen.

Before she could step into the tub, he blurted, "Nikki, I need you to know something."

She raised an eyebrow. "What is it?"

"I know we've been together for a long time and, babe, I'm crazy in love with you. I wake up thinking about you and I fall asleep thinking about you—wondering if you're alright, if you feel the same way about me, if we're supposed to have a future together. And I think—screw it—I  _know_ we're supposed to have a future together. I know your parents divorced last year and you went through hell over that—mine did, too—but I want you to know that we're not them. We  _won't_  be them. I just want to be your husband, babe. Nicole Grace Wong, I just want you to be my wife. Will you marry me?"

He spilled his heart to her, something he wanted to do the entire trip, and he truly hoped she thought he was worth the risk.

Her lips curled into a grin and her eyes grew gleamy. Her head spun in every direction and her heart pounded against her chest. She could only ask, "What made you want to ask me this while we're naked in a hotel bathroom?"

He shrugged. "I just had to. Spur of the moment." He never waited so long for a response in his life, even though it had only been a few seconds. "So…"

"Yes, I'll marry you, Jonesy. Yes. Yes!" A few tears streamed down her cheeks as she pulled him into a deep kiss, feeling like her heart was going to burst if it pounded any harder. She kissed him over and over again, reveling in the moment. New York didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was that she figured out why he'd been hard to read lately. She was going to be his wife, proving that love was an option for her after all. She parted from him and held his face in her hands, caressing his cheeks with her thumbs, looking into his eyes, which were much more readable now. She could see his soul in them. "I love you so much."

He lived for her touch at the moment. "I love you, too, Nik. I love you, too."

* * *

Jen, staring at the person on the other side of the door, asked, "What are you doing here?"

Jude said, "I was just wondering—"

"Did Nikki and Caitlin tell you I was leaving?" she asked, unable to keep the question back. She knew it had to be the only reason he showed up. She just wanted to confirm it.

He frowned. "No."

"Oh."

He couldn't meet her gaze. "Are you really gonna leave because of me?"

"It's because of  _me_ that I have to leave… You just happen to be an extra reason."

"Why weren't you gonna tell me that you were gonna leave?"

"I really can't do this right now, Jude. I have a flight to catch."

"Please just stay and hear me out for a moment," he said, meeting her eyes again.

Her temper rose. "Give me one good reason why I should."

"Because I love you, Jen."

And it calmed down again, just as her heart froze for a second time. Her world spun around after hearing this from him. Five words were too much to comprehend at once. "You… you love me?" she asked after a moment of silence.

He nodded, much more confident about it. "I really do. I mean it."

Her cheeks flushed, for very different reasons than they did when she first woke up to find him in her bed. Life was so different now than it was on Monday, when the trip began.

Her cheeks still red like the sweetest cherries, she said, "In that case, I guess I can hear you out." She ushered him to her bed, where they sat beside each other for the millionth time. "Deja vu."

"Ditto," he replied. "I don't want to hold you up too long, but I just wanted to tell you what happened before and after you found me kissing that girl in the club."

She frowned at the memory of that moment, but held herself together.. "Okay."

"I helped that girl find her missing keys and stuff, so she wanted to repay me for helping her. I didn't really want anything—I just wanted to feel useful—but she kissed me anyways. When you came by, that legit was the beginning of the kiss. But after you left me, I found out that girl's friends put her up to everything, from losin' her keys to kissin' me." He found out that Emily's group of friends liked having music to watch boys to; they liked watching cute guys in clubs and thinking of ways to pick them up for the night. Once he explained that to Jen, he said, "I was one of the guys they chose. She told me she really just wanted to see if she could hook up with me, but, because she thought you were my girlfriend, she left."

Her smile was bittersweet. "So, you  _didn't_  mean to kiss her."

"Nope. Most of all, I didn't mean to hurt ya, Jen."

"Oh, Jude!" she exclaimed as she wrapped her arms around him, sharing a warm embrace. She knew it was selfish that she placed her own happiness in knowing the truth over the fact that a New York girl had played Jude, but she couldn't help how she felt. When she saw him with that girl, she instantly felt like second-best—nothing more, nothing less. But now, with him spilling his true feelings for her, she felt like the only girl in his heart.

Once she let go of him, he said, "When you stopped talking to me last night, I felt all lonely and stuff. I really missed you, and the longer I thought about it, the more I realized that I caught feelings for ya. I love you, Jen, and not in a just-friends way."

"When I saw you with that girl last night, I realized that I fell for you too." She frowned. "But how can we make this into being more than friends? We've known each other since we were  _five_ , Jude." Her eyes pooled with tears. "We risked so much by being friends-with-benefits that I don't know if we can risk a real relationship. I love you, but I'm scared."

"Can you say that last thing again? I need to hear it again."

"I  _love_  you." Her lips tingled when she realized it slipped out of her mouth, out of her control. She didn't mean to fall in love tonight, but look at what happened. "Oh my God."

"So if you love me and I love you, then we've gotta take that risk, babe. I think we'd be crazy if we  _didn't_  take that risk."

"But—"

"Jen, I know ya like to be in control of everything—it's kinda sexy sometimes, can't lie—but you've got to let this one go and let life decide what happens. If we're meant to be—which I think we are—then we'll stay together and be happy. If not, then we'll always be friends. I just think we're worth a shot, babe."

She smiled at him through her tears as he awaited her response. "Then let's be more than friends."

"Wait, really?"

"Hey, you made a really compelling argument." She laughed. "Obviously, I need to take the risk for once in my life."

"That's the spirit," he said with a chuckle.

She planted a kiss on his grinning lips, feeling warm and alive again. The ice in her heart had been created and thawed by him, but, after this encounter, he was worth it.

"So…" he said.

"So, what?"

"You're not leaving tonight?"

"Nope." She sent him a loving smile as her eyes met his. "I don't have any reasons to."

He pulled her into an embrace, kissing her lips warmly and euphorically. As the storm between them grew intense, shame, sadness, and clothes were lost, but not love. As they undressed, they let love and life lead the way. For tonight, love and life led them onto each other.


	5. V. "We Will Walk Away from Empty Gold"

Glimpses of intimate moments ran rampant through Nikki's head.

Biting. Laughing. Kissing. Grinning. Gasping. Moaning. Clutching. Groaning. Loving.

When the morning light peeked into the room, she woke up with a smile gracing her face as she looked at Jonesy—or, rather, his back. Either way, she woke up next to him, feeling refreshed and engaged.

Looking at him reminded her of everything that happened last night, not just the scattered moments that lived in her head. Looking at him made her remember the walk through the city, the proposal beside the bathtub, the kissing and splash-fighting that ensued in said bathtub, the heated moments they shared beneath the sheets, and the warm pillow talk that occurred afterward.

"Remember when we were just two kids fighting on the playground on the first day of school?" she had asked him, running her fingers through his hair.

"Yep." He sighed with a nostalgic smile on his face. "Those were the days, babe."

She snorted. "What were we even fighting about? I can't remember."

"I stole Wyatt's brownie from his lunch and made fun of your glasses."

"Oh yeah, then I punched the shit out of you." She laughed. "Good times."

"You've always been the same, babe—always tough, always kicking ass. In a good way, of course."

"And you've always been a jerkass, but I guess you've changed for the better." She smirked. "Sixteen years later and I don't feel like kicking your ass as much as I used to."

"It's been that long? Wow."

"Yeah. A lot can happen between five and twenty-one."

Jonesy planted a kiss between her neck and shoulder before he said, "After all these years, I can't believe I'm gonna marry you, Nik." Even when he repeated it over and over again, it all felt surreal. It was the best dream he had ever known. "I'm gonna marry you."

As he gave her another kiss, she smiled. "I can't believe it either. When I was younger, I never pictured you as the guy I'd end up with. I never pictured who I'd end up with at all, honestly, but you were the last guy I expected to fall in love with." Before he could protest, she clarified, "But now you're the only guy I want to be with."

He gazed at her with adoration. "I've always wanted you, babe. Ever since I was fourteen."

She rolled her eyes playfully. "How many times have I heard that line from you?"

"A lot, but I mean it every time."

And she could safely look into his golden brown eyes and know he was telling the truth. Though he had a tendency of lying, especially in his adolescent years, his word was true. She pulled him into a long-lasting kiss and embrace, showing what words could not say.

"I love you so much," she whispered to him.

"I love you too, Nikki," he returned, his voice just as gentle. "Even more than I love myself, and you know how much I love me."

"I know, Jonesy. I know." She smirked and rolled her eyes once more. He was, in her words, a "cocky son of a bitch," but he was the cocky son of a bitch she wanted to spend her life with.

Minutes later, before they fell asleep, he reached out and caressed her cheek, saying, "You're my everything, babe. You make me better."

She gazed into his eyes. If her mind hadn't told her to calm down, her heart would have beat out her chest. "If anything, I'm the one who should be saying that to you."

"Well, how about this: We make each other better."

"That sounds about right." Her smile grew bittersweet. "Thanks for helping me, you know, when things got rough with my parents. After all the hell I went through alongside them, I never really thought love could work out for me. It didn't exactly work for them." Her eyes grew gleamy. "But then you showed me otherwise."

His voice packed with concern, he asked, "You about to cry, Nik?"

"No," she lied. "I've just got student loans in my eyes, that's all."

After a chuckle, he said, "It's okay if you do. I'm here for you."

Finding comfort in his embrace, she kissed him gently. "Thank you, Jonesy."

"Anytime."

Everything about last night was euphoric, vulnerable, and—dare she thought—magical, leaving her with a night she would never forget.

 _Best night of my life_ , she told herself. Hopefully the only night to top yesterday's would be their wedding night, she thought, at least before she found herself getting too far ahead of the present.

Presently, she found the urge to run to the bathroom and brush her teeth before Jonesy woke up, combating morning breath in case they decided to "celebrate" their engagement some more.

Once she ensured she was fresh and ready for whatever, she found Jonesy awake in their hotel bed, inciting her to run and tackle him.

" _Someone's_  excited to see me," he said with a laugh.

She grinned. "That someone has a name."

"If I remember correctly, it's  _fiancée_."

Her gaze flickering between his brown eyes and tender lips, she said, "Goddamn right."

As he kissed her, he pulled her into an embrace, his hands gliding up and down her small frame, doing everything from playing with her hair to toying with the hem of her t-shirt (which really was  _his_  shirt, but she wore it better).

His kisses were hot and burning, reminding her of last night's heat.

She moaned against his lips.

Moments before anything more serious could occur, Jonesy broke from her kiss and said, "Hold up, babe. Something's missing."

She rolled off him and climbed back onto the bed as he got up, rummaging through his suitcase. She looked at him with both curious and impatient eyes, wondering what was worth stopping such a euphoric make-out session.

"Got it!" he exclaimed to himself.

"What is it?" she asked.

"You'll see," he said, walking towards the bed with his hands behind his back. Once he hopped back in bed, he presented his surprise to her. "So, do you like it?"

Gazing at the ring inside the tiny black box before her, she nodded. "Jonesy, I love it."

As he slid the ring onto her finger, she grinned. She disregarded the size of the diamond, the color of the band, and all other superficial features. All that mattered was that Jonesy put his heart into their future.  _They_  were going to have a future.

They could travel the world together, visiting the world's greatest landmarks, eating the best global cuisines, studying each location's rich history, going on the most memorable dates abroad—even having the best international sex. They could share the same home instead of being confined to dorm-room visits on the weekend and hotel-room sharing during trips like this. They could take on the world together. They could do all these things right now, but something about the magic of being married to him tickled her.

Marriage never truly crossed her mind as a positive thing until last night. She didn't regard it as something for her to have, but now, she wanted it.

It would be a new phase in her life, a chance to make new memories. She'd been bickering with Jonesy since she was a young girl; now she wanted to do it all throughout her adult years. Admittedly, she wanted to spend a life going at it with him than a life of loneliness. It was only fitting.

Jonesy sighed. "I'm so glad to hear that. I didn't know if you'd like it or not."

She raised an eyebrow. "Just how long have you been planning this?"

He sheepishly grinned. "For a while now. To be honest, I got the ring a couple months ago, but I only got the guts to propose this week. I wanted to do something memorable and New York was my chance."

"Well, it's a good thing I said yes, isn't it?" she asked with a smirk.

"It's a great thing you said yes, babe."

After he kissed her lips, she pulled him closer and whispered, "You know what I wanna do before packing and going downstairs for breakfast?"

"I have an idea," he replied, slipping a hand up her T-shirt. "Wanna break the bed one last time?"

While moaning at his touch—ready to feel relive the heat of the night—she said, "I do."

* * *

Jen woke up to loving arms being wrapped around her. She sighed at Jude's ability to cuddle; he was gifted at it. She never wanted to leave his embrace, but, sadly, they would have to get up and check out soon. However, the thought of spending endless nights in his arms in Toronto kept her happy.

Eventually, she mustered the energy to leave the bed.

"Where ya going, babe?" he asked, still groggy from a deep sleep.

The butterflies would never stop when he called her that.  _Babe_ —she could get used to it. "As much as I want to stay in bed with you, I've got to take a shower and get ready to leave. We have to check out in a couple hours."

He frowned. "Aw, I don't want to leave. New York was pretty fun."

She sympathized with him. Though yesterday began with heartbreak and a hard decision, last night found her heart being stitched together again. Once they agreed to dive into a relationship together, she found herself having the best night of her life just by doing the most ordinary things. Even though she'd stayed within the confines of her room last night, she'd explored another universe with Jude. Even when they left, she would always be thinking of room 493. Luckily for Jude, she thought of a parting gift great enough to separate him from New York.

"Would taking a shower with me make you feel better?" she asked, standing by the bathroom door and looking at him.

Suddenly, he was a believer in running water.

* * *

Jude chuckled as he stepped into the elevator with his luggage in tow. "That shower was really fun. We should make out in there more often."

She replied, "There's a lot of things we should do together more often." (Things like their cuddling. She would never let that go.)

"That's true." He placed a palm on his chin, brainstorming an idea. "I'm not sure if you'd find it romantic or anything, but do you wanna go to the skate park with me sometime?"

"Jude, I'd love to," she said. "Maybe we can go on Tuesday. I get off work at 7."

"Sweeeet." He planted a kiss on her cheek before the elevator doors opened.

Upon exiting, they made their way to the hotel's cafe, where they had breakfast on the second day of their trip.

They found the rest of the gang at a table near the windows which allowed a scenic view of the New York streets.

Caitlin's face went from surprised to pure bliss in a matter of seconds. "Jen!"

Jen found herself ambushed by a hug before she could even sit down. "I'm glad to see you too, Caitlin," she said, her words strained. Caitlin was the strongest size-zero alive.

Once she let go and Jen caught her breath, Caitlin said, "Sorry about that. I just thought you'd left last night."

"Yeah, you told us you'd be gone before us," Nikki added, her eyebrow cocked.

As Jen took her seat beside Jude, she blushed and said, "Someone I love changed my mind."

Jude, with a goofy grin on her face, said, "That's me."

Wyatt blinked once. "How come no one told me Jen was going to leave?" he asked, puzzled.

"Well, only Caitlin and I knew at first," Nikki said before admitting, "then I slipped and told Jonesy when we were packing. Sorry, Wyatt."

"It's all good. What matters is that Jen stayed… and you and Jude are together now?"

Jude nodded. "Yep. We're not just friends and we're not just friends with benefits. We're in an actual relationship now."

"Yay!" Caitlin applauded, while Jonesy said, "Congrats, bro. It's about time."

Jen smiled as Jude threw his arm around her.

"Since I missed the Jen-almost-leaving-thing, is there any other news I should know of?" Wyatt asked.

Nikki played coy as Jonesy exclaimed, " _Well_ …"

Their friends leaned in with anticipation.

"Nikki and I are getting married." He smiled at her before turning his attention to the rest of the table. "We haven't set a date yet, but it'll probably happen sometime this year."

Their friends reveled in the good news, congratulating them on this milestone.

Caitlin found herself swept away in a fantasy. "This is gonna be great. I see a lavish wedding dress and really cute baby pink bridesmaid dresses and Britney Spears performing and—wait, that's  _my_  dream wedding." She smiled sheepishly. "Never mind. You guys are probably doing something completely different."

Nikki snorted. "I appreciate your enthusiasm, Blondie. And you're right—I think we'll end up doing something simple. Hell, we might just get married in a courthouse. A reception with our family and friends doesn't sound half-bad, though."

"Hmm, I'm loving that idea, babe," Jonesy said. "Start lowkey and end highkey."

She smirked. "What he said."

"I can help plan the wedding party!" Jen offered before sending a playful smile in Jude's direction. "Especially because someone knows I like to be in control of everything."

Jude chuckled before joking with his friends. "It works out pretty well when she's on top."

Jonesy was the first to convulse with laughter. "Nice!"

Jen's cheeks flushed tomato-red. "TMI, Jude."

"Sorry, babe," he said before making it up to her with a kiss on her lips.

Caitlin grinned. "Aww, how cute."

After the moment subsided, Jen said, "Hey, you know what I just realized?"

The gang looked at her with curiosity.

She smiled widely. "Nikki, once you get married, we'll officially be  _sisters_."

"Well, isn't that something?" Nikki laughed. "We'll really be a family now."

"I know!" Jen squealed. "I can't believe how things are turning out."

Jonesy threw his arm over Nikki's shoulders before saying, "This moment deserves a toast, don't you think?"

"It does," Wyatt agreed. He raised his glass of orange juice. "To family."

Caitlin raised hers. "And friends."

Jen did the same with her empty glass as she gazed at Jude. "And love."

Nikki followed suit, grinning at Jonesy. "And new beginnings."

Jonesy smirked. "And this good-ass breakfast, too."

While the gang burst out in laughter, Nikki playfully elbowed him. "Nice one."

Despite the joking and playing, the gang had a bright future ahead of them. They changed how they perceived each other just by occupying space in each other's hotel rooms (and each other's broken hearts). But beyond these rooms and beyond New York, they would find themselves back in Toronto, where they truly belonged—where they could see each other shine like gold.


End file.
